Blake wrote:Can she do something other than Harden when she evolves? Wait, wrong place.
Cutiepie is a pure Bug type that evolves into a Bug/Flying type via happiness.
Its movepool is: Harden, Sticky Web, Vicegrip and Leech Life.
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Putting the pokéjokes aside for a while...
Boy, I gotta say that the man didn't even bother to hide the fact that he got "inspiration" from Caterpie, as the first paragraph pretty much is the pokédex entry for Caterpie in many of the games it appears (yeah, I know that it's a defense mechanism that many types of caterpillars tend to have... but still it's way too obvious for not noticing nor mentioning).
The rest of the profile? It's actually a decent effort, the modus operandi these lasses have is pretty hot (I'm not specially fond of being part of the cocoon myself... but considering some of this setting's "good ends", is something even worth considering to welcome with open arms) and the fact they're pretty much willing to evolve into your ideal winged woman is incredibly endearing.
There's a
huge flaw in this profile though: It suffers from
extremely bad pacing (and that's something not even Perentie could refute... He will because I'm the one bringing it up...but you will hopefully get my point).
This lass goes all the way from Caterpie to Scolipede (I know that Caterpie's final stage is Butterfree, but for the mental image I'm trying to allude this is a more fitting example, so please spare me the bile you may potentially have) almost instantly.
She goes from complete lack of interest to predatory lust in a 0 to 100 scale, there's no build up, it feels way too forced.
A slower pace, showing some intermediate behaviour stages could have potentially worked wonders... Something like this:
-The greenworm shows a complete lack of interest (The starting point shown)
-The greenworm starts to feel curioisty for the male figure (she actually climbs on top of him for a reason: trying to recognize what this being is).
-The greenworm starts to feel attached to the male figure (she not only climbs on top of him, but she on top of that starts to nuzzle him on an affectionate manner).
-The greenworm starts feeling genuine attraction towards the male figure (she starts to actively fawn and kiss all over him).
-The greenworm starts to feel sexually aware (She starts to get curious about male reproductory organs and playfully tease them, and maybe she'll also try to take her partner to be's penis into her mouth to have her first taste of male mana).
-The greenworm is finally sexually mature and ready to evolve (The final stage shown).
Things like this are the details that can transform a good entry into a great one, nevertheless I must admit that it was a decent effort on his behalf this time around.
Although I also might add that I hope the next entry will be her final form... He can't bring her up and make a decent (for his standards that is) effort of building up with that last paragraph...for nothing (It would be extremely disappointing).
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.P.S.:
Feathers wrote:Just seeing the caterpie made me almost die laughing. Superb!
Thanks, I work with what I've been given ^^
